Happy Birthday to Me..

I find myself feeling a mixture of excitedness for making it another year, and disappointment for all the things I have yet to accomplish. My birthday is always like New Years to me. I make resolutions to have things done, like lose weight, or save money, or try new things, only to have the day arrive and once again realize I have been unsuccessful. Why is life so hard to manuever some times? I am extremely blessed with a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful boys. My extended family is more than I could have ever hoped for, yet something always holds me back from really enjoying these people to the fullest. Seriously, what is my problem? I know, cry me a river.. i am just feeling sorry for myself, and really, for no good reason. It is amazing how fast time goes by though. I am not sure if it happens once you start having kids and it is just so subtle that every once in awhile you realize how old they are, which makes you realize how old you are. We are always in such a hurry to grow up, and then want to slow it down when it gets going so fast. So this is me today, reflecting on my past and my future and just trying to be still in this moment.