Top This

So anyone who knows me, knows that I have struggled with weight issues for most of my life. And anyone who knows me also knows that I do continue to try to lose weight. Weight Watchers 3 or 4 times at least.. LA Weight Loss, Atkins Diet as well as Dr. Phils Weight loss Challenge. To no avail, here I am again trying to drop the pounds.
So I remembered an old boss of mine talking about this great organization called TOPS, Taking Off Pounds Sensibly. So I looked it up online and found out about some local meetings and talked my new, near and dear friend Kelly.. She will be calling me momentarily, gushing about how I called her dear.. Anyway, I digress. So we get all geared up for some serious fat kicking and we arrive early to the Prince of Peace Church where the meeting is held. I am already wondering what our 12 steps are going to be.
Upon arrival we are greeted by the cutest elderly woman, who looks very happy to see us. Danger Danger.. "Are you here for TOPS?" Could this be our fearless leader?? Would she notice if we hopped back in the car and laid rubber out of the lot? So we follow sweet Loretta into the building and we should be entering any moment now. Anyway, we enter a room of folding chairs in a circle.. Straight out of a movie, a horror movie for sure. Instantly we are greeted as "Oh, visitors, how did you hear about us?? What are your names? Are you twins?? WTH.. I mean I guess if people think my step-sister Sara and I look alike, Kelly and I could be twins. One woman introduces herself as the leader, here I pause... This is a weight loss group right?? Yeah, I don't have a lot of hope when the "Leader", is easily 350lbs, unless she started at like 700. Is that mean?? Anyway.. We have introductions, and small talk.
The meeting finally starts and all of a sudden people are standing and holding hands.. Again.. WTH?? Again, anyone who knows me also knows I don't do the hugs and kisses stuff.. So I start to sweat and I have to hold hands with people, including Kelly who is pinching me to keep from laughing cuz man was this funny. After reading the pledge in unison.. that's right folks a group pledge. I am once again wondering if we can slip out unnoticed? Probably not.. So after we go over everyones gains and losses and read last weeks minutes and talk about Julies new love life, we get a sheet to work on in groups. We learn about reading labels and not going to the store hungry. Shocking information, who has been keeping this from me?? Now the leader reads, poorly, right out of a book for the last few minutes and Glory, Glory its over..
See you next week as we shoot out of the room and we barely made it out the door before we had tears rolling down our cheeks.. I can't believe I will never get that hour and a half back. I am sure this is a great group for a lot of personalities, mine not being one of them. Kelly, who is a lot like me, will hold this against me for the rest of my life I am sure. NEXT..